In the last edition,I promised to continue on the above subject matter.Recall I said my aim of venturing into this subject matter is based on the way and manner marriage is been handled today.It will interest you to know that secularity has had its toll on this Godly institution and it has had a fast incursion in to the foundation of marriage.
Let me say here that the way the Church is going,we may be heading for a catastrophe unless something urgent is done by preaching the undiluted truth about the sanctity of marriage.
It will interest you to know that the rate of divorce and re-marry today is at an alarming rate especially in the western world and it has snowballed vigorously into Nigeria.As at the last count many pastors and ministers of God have become victims of divorce.To tow the path of Scriptures,it is one of the end-time signs as posited by Apostle Paul, when he admonished us that there will be a fallen away of many believers before the 2nd coming of Christ- 2 Thessalonians 2:3.
Let me sound a note of warning to so called ministers of the gospel, any one of you that are compromising Christ teaching on divorce and re-marry you are only preparing yourself for damnation.
God has not change on His stand on the sanctity of marriage for He is the same yesterday,today and forever.What He hates yesterday He still hates today,for He says He hates divorce-Malachi 2 vs16.
To the singles and unmarried Christians before you venture into the marriage institution,its instructive that you get the foundation right because if the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do-Psalm3:11. Nobody rises above the level of his or her foundation in life.In fact we are product of our foundations in life.
In case you are a genuine Christian and it seems you have been going through adversity in the area of settling for a marriage partner,you need prayers and counselling in this area before desperation sets in, which is one of the tools satan uses to manipulate children of God.
If satan succeeds he manipulates you to marry anybody and you know the implication of such decisions.One of the problems that kills people faster today is bad marriages.
Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure,having this SEAL,The Lord knoweth them that are His(2 Timothy 2:19).Brethren it doesn’t matter what the modern preachers preach today on marriage or what the perceptions of the world on the subject is,God has His seal of confirmation of His own on earth.If you like divorce your spouse the Lord knows His own.Nobody can rewrite the Bible,they can only translate it.
You can’t break the Holy Scriptures and make the rapture.In case you are following this message and you are attempting to divorce your legally married spouse be warned that God hates divorce.You can’t violate God’s Word and make Heaven.
Again if your reasons for divorce is in tandem with the Word of God,it means you can’t re-marry(Mathew 5:32).
Let me link once again properly to my message of last edition on the subject:The Sanctity of Marriage:God’s Master Plan.The Knowledge and understanding of Marriage is very key to our Christian life.Ignorance of this God ordained institution where there is no graduation until death do us part is very dangerous(Hosea 4:6).
Marriage – Interdependence instead of independence
When understood in the right way marriage is considered a gift and not a burden.
Understanding such, both husband and wife are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of each
other or their children. It often means a change in priorities and letting go of many activities onceenjoyed as part of single life. One is no longer, “one of the boys or one of the girls.”
Independence must give way to interdependence and mutual work. For some the transition can be rough and the home may suffer if one or both of the spouses do not understand their new roleas husband or wife. Yet as understanding comes the words of the Scripture hold true: “Whereforethey are no more twain, but one flesh” (Matt. 19:5).
Decision-making must be done mutually. A “big picture” approach must be taken instead
of only a self-serving view, to ensure that the needs of the family are met. The couple must learn
to balance the demands on their time for work the rearing of children, each other, activities in the
kingdom, and relaxation.Maintaining an independent almost separate life is common in the world. Husband andwife “do their own thing.” Here the believing couple has a special place of watching. Fathers
have especially been warned, “Be not as a lion in thy house” (Ecclus. 4:30). The lion, king of the
beasts rules by intimidation and power. His roar strikes fear into the heart of all, both man and
beast. Although admired for his strength he is a poor example of a mate and a father. The lioness
must do all the work and care for the offspring. He lies in the tall grass in the heat of the day,
waiting for her to provide food for him. He is lazy. Fortunately we do not have the heart of lions,
but hearts that are moved by “the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that
believe.” (1 Thess. 1:13)
“A man and a wife that agree together” (Ecclus. 25:1) is but one of three rare things that
stand out as beautiful before God and man. Marriage requires much individual and mutual effort
as well as support for each other along the way. It is a real lesson in how to compromise and
build consensus. It is not intended to be a competition of individual self-will but where each
would serve the other and both would serve God. The example of Christ applies in the home also
“I am among you as he that serveth.” Luke 22:27 Experience often verifies that when the
husband honors the wife the home is happy and the atmosphere peaceful even though external
trials or adversities may be experienced.
When one understands what marriage is and its purpose there is much forgiveness one for
another “as being heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Pet. 3:7). All matters of conscience can be
overcome with the gospel of the forgiveness of sins. It truly is “the power of God unto salvation
to every one that believeth” (Rom. 1:16). The sound advice of the Scriptures that many
believing couples live by is “let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Eph. 4:26). Living faith
and the power of the gospel also make it easier to face the outward or temporal adversities in life.
On the other hand divorce is the result of a hard or unforgiving heart. It can be
rationalized by the mind as the “right thing” to do. In this world it is a very common and often
used way of running away from problems or legally leaving one’s spouse for another. It was a
sign of the end of the world in Noah’s time and Jesus said to expect the same before His second
coming: “But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. For as in
the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in
marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark” (Matt. 24:37–38).
The Christian understanding on divorce is likewise based on the Scripture, which does
not give any permission for it; “But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and
female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and the
twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What God hath joined
together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:6–9).
Although few, there are some believers who are divorced as the result of an unbelieving
mate has who denied faith, who has sought for and been granted a divorce, or those who have
received the grace of conversion and entered God’s kingdom as divorced. Regardless, the
Scriptures give no possibility to remarry as noted in the following, “And in the house his
disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away
his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her
husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery” (Mark 10: 10–12).
The Pharisees questioned Jesus about the Old Testament actions of Moses on the matter
of divorce: “They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement,
and to put her away?” To this He answered: “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts
suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so” (Matt. 19:7–8).
Hearing God’s Word – The best foundation for a happy marriage
The Christian marriage is begun in the hearing of God’s Word and with the admonitions
of the Scripture to husbands and wives. It is likewise maintained as a happy and blessed union
by continuing in the “hearing of the word of faith.” “So then faith cometh by hearing, and
hearing by the word of God” (Rom. 10:17). For that reason attending services and other
activities of the kingdom of God is vital for the continued support of marriage and personal faith.
It is the best foundation for life together. Life is hurried and full of choices as to how to use time
but no better choice can be made than the hearing of God’s Word.
The Scriptures are a source of special instructions and teachings as to what is expected of
husbands and wives in this holy union.
The concepts of love, honor, respect are often repeated especially in the Epistles of Paul
and Peter as Godly advice for the couple. No one has entered marriage being fully wise unto
these matters rather experience proves that it is a learning process. One in which the couple
finds at times that they are slow to learn but as believers willing to make “new promises” to
believe and to continue. Briefly, we note the following advice of the Scriptures:
Paul advised the Ephesian women “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the
wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” (Eph. 5:22–24). When the meaning of subjection
is wrongly understood “This portion of Scripture willingly appeals to husbands who have been
driven from the way of mutual respect and understanding, to dispute who is the head of the
family, the husband or the wife; who is the greatest?”6 The relationship of Christ to the church
however is not one of conflict and in this text to “submit” or “be subject” is founded in love not
in fear and means to be loyal, obedient. It also refers to the order God has intended in marriage
“and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 4:16)
Paul admonished the Ephesian husbands to love their wives in a special way, with the
mind of Christ: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave
himself for it” (Eph. 5:25). The example of Christ stands even though no husband can claim
such a perfect love for his wife.
We note “even though the instruction for the wives is exacting, the instruction shown to
the husbands is even more exacting”7 as they are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved
Peter urged husbands to recognize the difference of natures, physical and emotional,
between the male and female and to give honor unto them: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with
them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel”8 (1 Pet.
The role of fathers in the rearing of children is set forth: “And, ye fathers, provoke not
your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).
Wives are reminded of the need for respect and acceptance of her husband in his place as
leader in the home. “See that she reverence her husband” (Eph. 5:33).
All of these and much more must be worked at in married life. These teachings are
intended to be taken to heart and put into practice every day. The advice of experienced Christian
couples unto the younger is to apply the word of God in your marriage and learn wisdom. Learn
also to look beyond the momentary concerns and cares of any given day and see rather that you
are part of a larger and broader work.
Understanding marriage, it’s purpose, responsibilities and its sanctity creates a desire to
be found often in the hearing of God’s Word and in the fellowship of His children. In this way
the Christian couple labors to serve God and to keep the union of marriage as holy in their lives.
Charles Ejoh,is an End-Time Message Gospel Believer.He is the Presiding Minister of Christian Foundation International Ministry,a global Non-Denomination Restoration Movement.
Ejoh can be reach on his whatsapp,twitter ,facebook social media handles@christian foundation mission.